Dating a man who is separated from his wife

I’ve recently met someone and we’ve fallen pretty hard for each other. Plus, she’s totally hung up on the fact that he said he was divorced on OKCupid. For reasons more pragmatic than principled, I am opposed to people dating before they are divorced.

We both have two kids in middle school: a girl and a boy. So, for all intents and purposes, it's like they're divorced, they just haven't done the paperwork. She says dating him is wrong because he’s still a married man. Dear In Love, I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married.

I met an old flame again in June and he asked me out on a date.

He is currently separated from his wife and has been for almost two years. I went out on three dates with him before he told me that he’d told his wife about us.

Ever since she left him, he's paid for his household expenses, she's paid for hers, and they coparent their kids without any drama.

Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed.

With people marrying less and divorcing more, it's no wonder that the opportunity, and challenge, of dating while separated has become pretty commonplace.

One of the most common temptations people fall for when a relationship is ending is the desire to find a new love - Often these people have been unhappy and missing love, companionship and sex for a longtime, and so there's a real pent-up, unmet need for love.

Since I counsel men and women before, during and after a relationship or marriage, including through a divorce, I frequently see people dating when separated.

I know that he needs to do this in order to truly be able to pursue a future with me.

He must grieve, mourn and separate before he can maintain a healthy, loving, confident relationship with me.

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